comedy
This Party Took a Turn for the Douche by Garfunkel and Oates
Riki “Garfunkel” Lindhome and Kate “Oates” Micucci perform a rap about douchebags. Here are the LYRICS:
We roll into the bar cause thats how we do
Garfunkel, Oates and the rest of the crew
Give a dollar to my homegirl and watch that go she
Hits up the juke box and puts on Jim Croce
Operator, can you help me make this call?
Were laughing and talking and the drinks are flowing
Im the liking the direction this night is going
But then I look up and something has changed
Everyone around us looks deranged
I look to my left, I look to my right
Nothing but Von Dutch hats in sight
With supertight abs and supertan skin
I swear this aint the club that I walked in
Then the techno music starts to play
And the room smells like Axe body spray
Im like Golda Mier with no gold in my ear
Please tell me what the happened here
Yo it aint pretty but you know its the truth
This party just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche
For the douche
Thought it was a perfect party
Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy
This party just took a turn for the douche
I guess I cant beat em so Im gonna join em
Need some douche phrases and Im gonna coin em
Put my Bluetooth in and Im on my way
Gonna be a mother douchebag today
Gonna groom my beard like a bonsai tree
Wax off my chest like Mr Miyagi
Get a Chinese tat, dont know what it means
But it makes me look deep to girls in their teens
Dont need sleeves on my shirt, just rip em off
And leave em exposed like Bernie Madoff
Fake tan so brown you can call me foxy
Gonna pop my collar like Limbaugh pops oxy
Got more chains than Mr. T
I pity the fuckwad who messes with me
Cause Im doin roids til my balls get teeny
Like Dennis Quaid in Innerspace, up inside the weenie
Gettin crunk on brewskis with my broskis
Im cooler than Ice cube wearing snow skis
Sweeter than the life of Zach and Cody
Higher than the voice of Truman Capote
Yeah Ill drop a G for a bottle of Goose
This party just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche
For the douche
Thought it was a perfect party
Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy
This party just took a turn for the douche
Were an army in the night like Norman Mailer
And its time to be a tool like my name is Tim Taylor
Im a VIP cause my table said so
Im a use some Rufees cause the skank said no
I like my hair like I like my girls drink
SPIKED as fuck!!!
Did my last keg stand like General Custer
And Im assessin the damage like a claims adjuster
I aint your Daddy but Ill call you son
Yeah I get metaphysical like John Donne
Im holdin up the beats like I was Lloyd Dobbler
Girls are on the dance floor shakin their cobbler
Im Cool like LL, fly like Jeff Goldblum
Im gonna find the biggest ho in this room
Girls wax is Brazilian, her manicures French
Jean Nate is her signature stench
She got rocks on her fingers and beneath her areolas
Her gardens more savage then ch ch cherry colas
Her heels are as clear as my intentions to bang her
Hope shes birth controlled like Margaret Sanger
Gonna Boner Stabbone her, Mike Seaver her Beaver
Take her gold for cash then mother leave her
I aint in love w you cousin I aint George Michael Bluth
This party just took a turn for the douche
For the douche, for the douche
For the douche
Thought it was a perfect party
Now its just a lot of Ed Hardy
This party just took a turn for the douche
Duration : 0:3:58
Ed Bassmaster – The Loan
Always Teste applies for a loan.
For more Ed Bassmaster:
Check out his YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/edbassmaster
Find him on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ed.bassmaster
Follow him on Twitter: http://twitter.com/edbassmaster
http://bagofmisfits.com
Duration : 0:4:43
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Guru-TV: Real Hustle Live-Waitress Credit Card Cloning
Waitress Credit Card Cloning
Duration : 0:5:35
Hulk Hogan Wants To Wrestle Your Debt Into Submission!
From the blog post at: http://www.i-mockery.com/blabber/2010/06/02/hulk-hogan-wants-to-wrestle-your-debt-into-submission-whatcha-gonna-do/
Hulk Hogan is now ready to take the 24″ pythons to help you out of your debt crisis. “DON’T SWEAT THE DEBT!”
Yo debt! Whatcha gonna do when the Hulkster and all his Hulkamaniacs run wiiiiild on you!!!?
Duration : 0:1:0
US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
Treasury officials say the gold has just been rattling around in the bottom of some vaults at the US Bullion Depository anyway.
Duration : 0:2:32
Credit Cards Vs Evil
Nick writes, “The world is evil. That’s why you use credit cards.”
Duration : 0:3:3
MORE DEBT PLEASE
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Shit making poor killing bomb dropping slick lying cruel backing money printing people bankers..safe from bankruptcy thanks to slave population of earth…
Pakistan army assaults Imagi ban er fantasy ban er Taliban positions in sop to president Obamas demand for action
Civilian Afghan death toll from US airtsrike likely to exceed something or other says heartless inhuman spin doctor..
In the UK DNA database ruling completely ignored by fascist police state lunch room monitor Jaqui smith..
Hello bill paying masses welcome to the FKN Newz im papering over the cracks here are the headlies tonight
Duration : 0:6:52
How to Reverse Credit Card Charges
How to get out of Credit Card Charges. The reality is they are hard to get out of but it’s not impossible.
http://www.gradualreport.com for less
Duration : 0:4:5
Welcome to Mississauga
Out and about in the City of Mississauga with Mayor Hazel McCallion.
Duration : 0:6:32
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